I don’t drink milk. This is apparently a controversial thing to say, especially in the United States. It’s not that I’m a vegan, or lactose intolerant. I’ve just never been that fond of the stuff. I don’t like the taste, especially of whole milk, and I find the texture revolting. To me it’s claggy, fatty and extremely unpleasant. I hate the way it coats the lining of your throat, and the taste lingers for a long time afterwards. Then it floats on top of the stomach and seems to induce a sense of nausea for quite some time until it’s digested.

Notice I didn’t mention the topic of whether humans even should be drinking another animal’s milk or whether there are nutritional advantages or disadvantages in drinking cow’s milk. Though I do find it fascinatingly hypocritical for a culture to encourage the drinking of bovine milk but not human (after a certain age, naturally). This is not about that. It’s just my personal preferences. I am intrigued as to the wide variety of “alternatives” on the market in the West which seem to have sprung up in recent years. Some commentators seem to think it’s tied to the rise of veganism (which is allegedly on the decline), others think it’s due to environmental awareness.

Of course this is only a Western attitude. Soy milk has been drunk in the far East for a very, very long time…and not just by people who abstain from animal products. In fact there are many popular soy milk drinks available in Chinese supermarkets here in the UK which also contain powdered cow’s milk for flavouring. I suppose we should find that puzzling in a “Who is this for?” attitude, but that’s missing the point. Even here in the UK we had almond milk back in Medieval times, and there are records of almond milk being made and consumed back in the 13th Century. I suppose if you follow a religion which mandates the separation of milk and meat then they can be useful. So the notion of milk alternatives being a new fad is simply not true.

Naming

To those who say they shouldn’t be called “milks” because they don’t come from mammals I say “Fair enough”. BUT they have been called “milks” for hundreds of years so why stop now? If the US can sell domestic “Champagne” as long as they put the word “California” in front of it, why shouldn’t we have Soy Milk as long as it has the preface “Soy”?

It should be more controversial than vegan “burgers” and “nuggets”. I have seen people insist that non-meat products shouldn’t be allowed use those words, but those words refer to the finished product, not the origin. Which part of a cow is a “burger” from? Where exactly are the nuggets on a chicken? If you can have chicken burgers and lamb burgers as well as beef, why not a vegan burger?

Soy

Probably the most widely available, and cheapest product. I find soy to be….okay. It often has an unpleasant aftertaste, but it’s main advantage is that it’s very cheap, often cheaper than cow’s milk. Some brands such as ASDA put a touch of inulin in it which helps with the aftertaste. And if you mix it with something else for flavour then I guess it’s okay. Not my first choice but good to know how easily available it is. We can’t easily grow soy here in the UK but at least we can ship the dried beans here and then make the product in the country which goes some way to minimising “food miles”. And it still uses less water, land and energy than cow’s milk.

Almond

One of the oldest milk analogues around, but given how much water is needed to grow almonds I’m pretty sure that vegans who have adopted that lifestyle for environmental reasons probably shouldn’t be drinking it. There’s also the fact that since we don’t grow almonds in this country it has to be imported. But we don’t tend to import the almonds and then make the milk here, we import the finished product, which means transporting huge amounts of water across the oceans which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. I’m led to believe this is the most popular alternative in the US, especially in California

Rice

Sure, why not? Rice milk is my favourite just for drinking – especially when it’s ice cold. But that’s because it’s rather sweet. And that means it’s not great for other uses as it can sweeten whatever you put it in which might not be what you want. I find it doesn’t work great in hot drinks because it tends to separate. The rice often comes from Italy but that’s no guarantee. Better than California, I guess.

Oat

Oat milk is great for coffee – it’s rather high in fat compared to the others which means it goes well with the bitterness of the base drink, and imparts a smooth, silky flavour to the finished product. Plus we can grow oats here which means the entire product can be made within the UK.

Pea

Ehhhh……pea protein is good for making meat analogues but I’m not convinced it works well as a milk substitute. Plus it’s rather expensive due to it’s novelty.

Coconut

To me this is for cooking with, not for drinking. It’s FAR too high in saturated fat to make a pleasant drink, and it imparts a coconut flavour to everything you put it in.

Hazelnut / Cashew / Macadamia

I suppose since they’re nuts just like almonds it’s theoretically possible…but cashews have to be imported and there are human rights issues relating to their harvest. Avoid.

Help / Flax / Linseed / Chia / Quinoa

You’re joking, right? Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.